Today’s Mandala Message: Focus on Creating Heart-to-Heart Connections
This week I’m working through Principle #49 from Jack Canfield’s “The Success Principles” entitled “Have a Heart Talk”. I set my intention today to ponder creating heart-to-heart connections with regard to difficult conversations. From an article by Kristine Carlson about having heart-to-heart connections she states: “In a conversation that requires listening intensely with kindness and non-judgement, you can engage in connection with others without pretense or having any kind of agenda. When you listen from love, reflect on what you’ve heard and respond gently, your conflict can turn into clarity and understanding for one another.”
I have a situation with a close family member where we are diametrically opposed politically and spiritually. In our youth we were very close and I miss that connection. When we do talk we have to stay clear of any trigger topics. I would love to be able to talk with them about these topics but I fear I’ll want to fix them or try to “wake” them up…which I know will trigger their defensiveness. My challenge becomes finding a way to come into a conversation with them from a place of curiosity and a willingness to understand their POV and hopefully they would do the same for me.
Kristine offers some suggestions on how to be more mindful when connecting:
- Listen, reflect and respond (in this order).
- Engage in tough conversations with kindness, honesty and an open heart.
- Be open hearted and have zero expectation of the outcome.
- Speak with vulnerability from your own experience and stand in your feelings of self- worth, regardless of the situation.
- Be a thoughtful and compassionate listener as you listen with love.
- Be curious about what the other person’s view of reality is.
- Sometimes, agree to disagree.
- Choose kindness over being right, and you are right every time.
It may be that we start slow with some less-triggering topics and then build from there.
A good mindfulness practice would be to set an intention to come from a place of compassion and kindness when having difficult conversations.
So how about you? Do you find it challenging to be non-judgmental and triggered when having difficult conversations? Are you able to come from a place of curiosity when listening to others? Would setting some guidelines before having a difficult conversation be helpful?
“Talking successfully about feelings
— Douglas Stone
requires you to be scrupulous
about taking the judgments,
attributions, and statements of blame
out of what you are saying,
and putting the statement of feeling in.
It is crucial to look at
the actual words you are using
to see whether those words
really convey what you want them to.”
Blessings,
Maureen
The Mandala Lady
All Things Mandalas
An Invitation
I invite you to color along with me this year as part of what I’m calling “The Year of Self-Exploration and Expansion” with all of my “Mandalas of the ___” (day, week, month, year). If you’re interested in more of a self-exploration approach to coloring, check out my “Coloring Mandalas as Meditation”. You can download this mandala at MandalaoftheWeek.com.
Mandala of the Day 