Today’s Mandala Message: Establish the Rules of the Game
This week I’m working through Principle #54 “Keep Your Agreements”. I set my intention today to ponder setting rules to the game when it comes to agreements. Canfield states: “Everything that you want to accomplish requires relationships… For those relationships to work, you need to set up _the rules of engagement_… How are you going to play together? What are the ground rules and guidelines for the relationship going to be?” With established and agreed upon ground rules, your level of success will dramatically increase. Things go a lot smoother when everyone knows the role they and others are playing.
I have found that it pays to establish the “rules” right up front. If I’m in a situation where I agreed to do something for someone else, I envision responding with a clarifying statement like: “What is it exactly that you want me to do, what role am I playing, what role are you playing, and who else is involved and what are their roles.” If it’s a situation where I’m the lead, I want to make it clear what I need from those involved.
Twice recently I was in a situation where someone (different someones each time) wanted to help me with one of my projects. In both cases the helpful someones were the type that tend to be overly helpful and sometimes assume what needs to be done rather than knowing what I actually need done. And in both cases, I let them know 1) I appreciate that you want to help and I’m grateful that you’re here, 2) I know that you are resourceful and as we go along you may think there’s a better/different way to approach this and you may even go so far as to just do it your way, however, I’ve already worked out how I want this to go, so I need you to follow my direction, that being said, I’m open to hearing your suggestions as the need arises; 3) are you okay with that? In both cases, the results were excellent.
Before I learned how to do that, I had a different experience. Years ago I had a situation where I had a booth at an outdoor art fair. My husband was able to come help me at the end of the fair. It didn’t occur to me to tell him how to load our SUV. About halfway through taking things down, I went to our vehicle and saw that he had already started loading it. I failed to tell him that there is a particular way the vehicle needs to be loaded in order to have everything fit. He was a bit annoyed with me that he had to take things out (understandable). I could have saved us both some aggravation had I just been clear up front as to how best he could help me.
A good mindfulness practice would be to ask for or declare the “rules of the game” the next time you establish an agreement.
So how about you? If you’re leading a project, do you make it clear what needs to be done and who needs to do what? If you’re following someone else’s lead, to you ask for clarification of your role and that of the others involved? When you agree to do something, do you make sure to know what exactly is expected of you?
“Even if we remain flexible,
— Horst Seehofer
we need ground rules.”
Blessings,
Maureen
The Mandala Lady
All Things Mandalas
An Invitation
I invite you to color along with me this year as part of what I’m calling “The Year of Self-Exploration and Expansion” with all of my “Mandalas of the ___” (day, week, month, year). If you’re interested in more of a self-exploration approach to coloring, check out my “Coloring Mandalas as Meditation”. You can download this mandala at MandalaoftheWeek.com.
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