Friendship
“a close and supportive relationship between two or more people”
Disclaimer…this is going to go in a different direction than you might expect.
I have to admit, of late, I tend to be annoyingly picky when it comes to friendships. I’ve come to realize that I value my time and with whom I spend it. Why would I want to be around someone who’s always negative, or fearful, or an energy drainer? Thankfully, I’m blessed with a few, dear friends who understand my quirky, weird ways and with whom I can be authentically myself…no judging, no criticizing, no trying to fix or change me.
I grew up in a neighborhood where the number of boys far outnumbered the girls, so I was limited in my friendships…and one of them was not easy and helped formed my distorted idea of what it means to be friends. I’ll hold off from sharing anything more about it here.
From 1-8th grade, I became best friends with one of my classmates. Once we went to separate high schools, our friendship just fizzled out. When I was about to turn sixteen, our family moved to another state, leaving old friendships behind and then having to form new ones. In my later teens I had two best friends…interestingly, both of them were named Kathy. We moved again and we lost touch.
Looking back on all my friendships throughout the years, I see that all of my friendships have been temporary. Over the years, I’ve moved six times across the country and each time I would leave behind old friends, and then make new ones at the next location. It’s not something I intentionally did, it would just seem to happen that way. I sort of envy those who have life-long friends, who are still together even now.
To be honest, I don’t think I’m friendship material…at least not in the traditional sense. I happen to value my alone time. To have friends that I always hang out with every day or that I’m always doing things with, feels foreign to me. I actually like shopping by myself. Do I feel like I’m missing out somehow? Maybe … but not really. Thankfully, my current friends feel the same way about friendships as I do…and that works for us. We measure our time together in quality rather than quantity.
As I’m writing this I’m realizing there’s a much deeper issue going on here than I’ve let myself face and requires more time and healing than I care to share right now. Suffice it to say, I’m grateful for the friendships I have now. Amazingly, I’ve been friends with one of them since 2003…that’s a new record for me.
As a side note, I bought a book about friendships about four years. I met the author during an online retreat. I have yet to read it. Maybe it’s time I did.
What I’ve come to realize is that the friendship I honestly need to work on is the one with myself.
How about you? Is friendship a core value for you?
BTW…here’s what it looked like to begin with…
joyfully,
Maureen
The Mandala Lady
inspiring and encouraging creativity, curiosity, and play through the art of mandalas
About the 2024 Mandalas of the Day
Each day I will create and post a mandala inspired by one of 366 “value” words chosen randomly. The objective being to discover for myself which ones would best represent my core values…and by doing so, I hope it inspires you to determine your own.
Mandala of the Day 