Tradition
“a way of thinking, behaving, or doing something that has been used for a long time”
I’m probably going to trigger some people with what I write today…so be it. There is a time and a place for tradition…if it enriches, maintains integrity, and/or uplifts…then certainly yes uphold a tradition. However if it becomes stale, deprived of its heartfelt meaning, and/or a feeling of obligation, a “have to” rather than a “want to”…then, no, let it go or re-model it.
Where I feel this most is with Christmas. Need I say more? Not really but I will anyway…at least from my perspective. Growing up (decades ago), my favorite part of Christmas was going to midnight mass (when it actually was at midnight) and hearing our congregation in our small, old New England-styled church sing “Silent Night”. To this day, I’m overcome with immense joy whenever I hear it sung at a gathering.
My other favorite part of Christmas growing up was wearing a new outfit and going to my grandparents house to hang out with all my cousins (mostly girls) with their new outfits and playing together. I think there were around 12-16 of us depending on the year. We’d all eat at a big table in a side room while the parents were all in the dining room. Joyous times…or so I thought. (Turns out there were some family issues that we little ones were not privy to as yet).
My least favorite “traditions” around Christmas: “having to” buy gifts, “having to” do the same things we do every year, “having to” hang out with the same people, “having to” go to the same places, and so on. Are you noticing the pattern? It’s that overwhelming feeling of “obligation” that if I/we don’t do XYZ then “someone” will be disappointed, feelings will be hurt, angry retorts will ensue, blah blah blah. These types of traditions I can live without.
When it comes to tradition, it behooves us to be more present and conscious about it. Continuing with the Christmas example…do we really want to have Turkey every year? how about changing up the menu a bit. Do we really want to buy gifts for everyone? Could we make them instead? Or skip it completely? Do we really have to go to the same place or be with the same people?
For us these days, my husband loves to put up the lights around our house, usually Thanksgiving weekend, depending on the weather. It’s a tradition that gives him great joy. I’d be okay without them…and yet I love seeing them and am grateful that he does it. Since our families are spread out all over the country, we’re happy to spend the holiday with our friends. We enjoy watching old and new holiday movies together: Christmas in Connecticut, Scrooged, and of late, Guy Pearce’s A Christmas Carol (highly recommend it!). And we make the foods that we enjoy eating…for me, it’s not your traditional holiday foods…more like lamb and pumpkin custard.
Essentially, it comes down to honestly looking at what works and what doesn’t work anymore…to re-think the “have to’s” and finding a way to make them into “want to’s” or better yet “love to’s”. It also comes down to asking ourselves how important is it to us…in other words: our why for upholding or changing our traditions.
How about you? Is tradition a core value for you?
BTW…here’s what it looked like to begin with …
joyfully,
Maureen
The Mandala Lady
encouraging and inspiring curiosity, creativity, and play through the art of mandalas
About the 2024 Mandalas of the Day
Each day I will create and post a mandala inspired by one of 366 “value” words chosen randomly. The objective being to discover for myself which ones would best represent my core values…and by doing so, I hope it inspires you to determine your own.
Mandala of the Day 