Altruism
“a willingness to do things that bring advantages to others, even if it results in a disadvantage for yourself.”
As a child (especially as the oldest), I was often forced to forego what I wanted in order for someone else to get what they wanted. For instance, if only one cookie was left, I had to give it to someone else. I was told that I needed to be considerate of others. To everyone else, I was being a good girl. I was being nice. In my head I was wondering: “yeah but, what about me, who was going to be considerate to me?”
As I grew into adulthood and up into my late 20s, I was a chronic considerate-er. Whatever anyone else wanted to do…we did that. Whenever we’d go to a restaurant, it was always where everyone else wanted to go. What I wanted didn’t matter. This was happening out of my earlier childhood training…now it was a habit. It wasn’t until I was in therapy (my ex-husband’s idea…for me…not him), that I realized that I was doing this unconsciously. To everyone else, I was easy going, always considerate. In reality I was a “flaming codependent”. (google it)
To others it may appear that in both of these cases I was altruistic…however I was missing the “willingness” component of the equation. I was doing it because I “had” to do it or because I “should” do it.
Now, I’m in a position where I can knowingly, and willingly, do things to help others, even if it puts me at a disadvantage (my time, my money, etc). Although, most of the time, I don’t feel like it’s a disadvantage, because it actually makes me feel good to be able to help others. I also know that I can say “no”, it’s my call to make…my conscious choice.
How about you? Is altruism a core value for you?
BTW…here’s what it looked like to begin with …
joyfully,
Maureen
The Mandala Lady
bringing sanity to an insane world through the art of mandalas
About the 2024 Mandalas of the Day
Each day I will create and post a mandala inspired by one of 366 “value” words chosen randomly. The objective being to discover for myself which ones would best represent my core values…and by doing so, I hope it inspires you to determine your own.
Mandala of the Day 