Initiative
“the ability to use your judgment to make decisions and do things without needing to be told”
I have my parents to thank for helping me learn how to take the initiative with things. Since all I ever wanted was to make them happy, to please them, I was always on the look out for ways I could do just that.
It wasn’t easy at first, I usually had to be told what to do because I honestly didn’t know. Then one Thanksgiving, I was about 7 yo, my mom was working hard prepping and cooking in the kitchen…actually, she looked really stressed out. Sensing that she could use some help, I went up to her and asked: “Can I do anything to help you?” Agitated she replied: “If you can’t see what needs to be done, then I can’t help you.” I walked away hurt, confused, guilty, and thinking that I must be a terrible person for not knowing what needed to be done.
So I set my sites on becoming more mindful around the house. Looking for things that might need to be done. Maybe some furniture could use some dusting. Maybe the clean dishes in the sink needed to be put away. Maybe the table needed to be set for dinner.
Same with my dad although with him it was monitoring his state of mind so as to circumvent triggering him. For instance, I took the initiative early on to always order the cheapest thing on the menu, to show him how much of a good girl I was for saving him some money. In the summer, I would vacuum and skim the pool or do some yard work before being told it needed to be done.
I realize this post may have a dark tone to it and yet from that environment I learned how to assess just about any situation and know what needed to be done to help. I’m usually the one who would interject humor when things seemed tense. I’m usually the one who volunteers first. I’m usually the one who takes charge when things seem confusing.
It also helped me in just about every job I’ve ever had. Except when it came to coffee…I don’t drink it…I don’t make…and I don’t serve it. I learned early on in my secretarial days…make a bad pot of coffee and they’ll never ask you to make it again.
Of course the danger here, and I fell into this trap, is turning into a hyper-vigilant people fixer and pleaser. Thankfully over the last couple of decades I’ve manage to tone it down a bit.
The other side of this is knowing when NOT to take the initiative. Nothing worse than doing something, especially something that took a lot of time and effort, and then being told “oh, you didn’t need to do that…we’ve decided to go a different direction” or “oh no, we were suppose to have someone else that” or “oh no…no one was supposed to touch that…now you’ve ruin it.”
While it’s commendable and often appreciated to take the initiative on things…it may be worth asking first before doing.
How about you? Is initiative a core value for you?
BTW…here’s what it looked like to begin with …
joyfully,
Maureen
The Mandala Lady
🌟 bringing sanity to an insane world through the art of mandalas
About the 2024 Mandalas of the Day
Each day I will create and post a mandala inspired by one of 366 “value” words chosen randomly. The objective being to discover for myself which ones would best represent my core values…and by doing so, I hope it inspires you to determine your own.
Mandala of the Day 