Codependency vs Generosity
Our focus this week — Nov 12-Nov 18: “Generosity”
Today’s MotD: Codependency vs Generosity. Like most things, determining whether we’re being codependent or generous comes down to our “why”. Why are we being generous ? Is it because we truly want to give/help or is it out of our need to be a people-pleaser with thoughts like: I “should” give/help, I’d look like a good person if I give/help, I’d feel guilty if I don’t, what would people think if I don’t give/help, and the like.
For most of my childhood and early adulthood, I was a chronic people-pleaser. I always went above and beyond with helping people or giving to other people. It got so bad that by the time I went to therapy, which my husband at the time said I must do so I did, I had lost all sense of myself and what I wanted. Thankfully with therapy and learning all about codependency, I came out of it alive (literally/figuratively) and more aware of my “why’s”.
I admit, in the early years of my recovery and sometimes even now, the pendulum swings the other way where I’ve halted all forms of generosity. I fear being in a position where people take advantage of me and trigger my old people-pleasing tendencies. So in those instances I back off.
Now I find the pendulum mostly hanging around the center, where I can be more mindful of my actions and motivations. All I need do is to check in with my “why” ? Do I truly want to give/help or am I wanting to people-please ? Once I honestly answer, I act accordingly.
How about you ? When you are generous, what’s your why for doing so ? Do you tend to give to or help others from a place of people-pleasing ? Are you truly wanting to give/help or is it out of feeling like you “should” ? Check in with your ‘why’.
BTW…Here’s the before…the front and back view of today’s puzzle piece and the pretty ceramic box that holds all my numbers from which I randomly choose each day’s puzzle piece number:
Peace & Blessings,
Maureen
The Mandala Lady
Creating Mandalas 🔆 Awakening Inner Harmony
ABOUT THE 2025 Mandalas of the Day
Throughout the year, I’ll be building one large (48”x48”) Tibetan-styled Mandala one piece at a time…one puzzle piece at a time, that is. The mandala design and the reversed puzzle side were printed on artist-quality watercolor paper. The forward facing puzzle side was printed on a 48”x48” wood panel.
Each day, at random, I’ll be painting in watercolors one of the 365 watercolor puzzle pieces, that by the end of the year will become Archangel Mandala #4. Read more about the Archangel Series. The word/message for each piece will be inspired by Melody Beattie’s book “52 Weeks of Conscious Contact”.
Ultimately, the message of this mandala is about how we are all uniquely part of the one.
Mandala of the Day 