24-144 Forgiving

The Mandala Lady, , , , , , , , , , , , ,
intense abstract dark background of blues, greens, purples, reds with angular lines in lighter colors. drawn on top is a white outline circle around a bright red orb that sits partially behind a thick vertical line. all over are small golden hearts outlined in black. near the bottom is a abstract looking butterfly outlined in gold and black.the word ‘forgiving” is written in black on a slanted white-ish line.

Forgiving

“the act of letting go of resentment, anger, or bitterness towards someone who has wronged you, for the sake of personal peace and well-being”

Heads up…this is a deep one and a long one…

I think we all get the idea of “forgiving” someone; where we struggle, at least where I struggle, is with the “letting go” part…because the memory is still there. And then I remembered about the approach “A Course in Miracles” (ACIM) takes on forgiveness. It’s not about the other person, it’s about our interpretation of what happened and the meaning we/I gave it…that’s what needs forgiving.

In ACIM forgiveness is a process of letting go of illusions and recognizing the truth. It’s not about pardoning someone for a perceived wrong but about seeing beyond the ego’s misperceptions and understanding that the perceived offenses are not real.

“Yeah but, what if someone hit me in the face, for example?” you may ask. Well, someone hitting you in the face is just a fact…it just is. Now, what we do with that fact is OUR choice, OUR decision, OUR responsibility. We decide how we want to react or respond to it. We decide the meaning of it. The “why” of that person hitting you may be completely different from how you decided to receive it…yes, you decided. “So you’re saying it’s my fault if I get angry about someone hitting me?” Yes…because in that moment, that nanosecond, you decided that you wanted to be angry about being hit. You could have just as easily decided to laugh about it, or cry about it, or have no reaction at all. …I know, what a concept.

So…I share all of this because I’ve been holding onto a resentment, with a dash of bitterness and a hint of anger, since my childhood…interestingly enough…it’s not about my parents. Looking at it from ACIM’s perspective, I decided to resent the fact that this friend always had to have their way in everything because if I didn’t go along with it, I was afraid they would yell at me and/or be angry with me.

Where they were coming from in all of this, I have no idea…I can assume that they needed to feel special or to be in control, who knows. The weird thing is, if I were to talk to them about it now 1) they would probably have no idea what I was talking about, and 2) they would probably have a totally different memory (meaning) of it. But, unless I talk to them about it, it’s all speculation…on my part. Or I could just let it go.

So what am I letting go of? I’m needing to let go of how I decided to be offended by their behavior. It’s not about condoning their behavior, it’s about accepting the fact that their behavior was their behavior. I gave their behavior all the meaning it had/has for me. Thus, it becomes my job to forgive myself for making that decision all those years ago. Why? Because holding on to it is adversely affecting my inner peace and well-being.

Let me put it another way…I could thank this awareness “for giving” me this opportunity to decide again as to what meaning I want to give to this childhood relationship. I can change my mind about what appeared to be a wrongdoing, that it was just a mistake or an illusion created by my ego self. I can release my judgment against them and myself, understanding that holding onto this grievance binds me to the ego and prevents me from experiencing inner peace.

Are you still here??? Bless you.

Now how do I “decide again”? I just make a different decision about that relationship: they were just being who they were at that time, and I was the way I was at that time. Done. It’s that simple. The “for giving” myself part, I could just make a different decision about that too and be done with it. However, I feel like I want to do something special, a symbolic gesture, for that…I want to do a mandala meditation via a doodle mandala.

Anyway….How about you? Is forgiving a core value for you?

BTW…here’s what it looked like to begin with …

intense abstract dark background of blues, greens, purples, reds with angular lines in lighter colors.

joyfully,

Maureen
The Mandala Lady

*ToGAs: Team of Guides and Angels

inspiring and encouraging creativity, curiosity, and play through the art of mandalas

About the 2024 Mandalas of the Day

Each day I will create and post a mandala inspired by one of 366 “value” words chosen randomly. The objective being to discover for myself which ones would best represent my core values…and by doing so, I hope it inspires you to determine your own.

Published by The Mandala Lady

My Mission: connecting with our Inner Light in delightful, inspiring ways For me, creating mandalas is more than just coloring pretty patterns in a circle. I do it because my spiritual evolution and creativity require it of me. My mandala designs come about within an active meditative state, connected with my higher self, my spiritual guides and nature spirits. Together, we bring into form, mandala art the allows me to re-connect with my own inner peace and joy, letting me explore and expand my own creative spirit to however far and in whatever direction I want to take it. As part of my own spiritual journey, I encourage, and hopefully inspire, others to explore their own creativity, to help them re-connect with their own inner peace and joy. As a means to that end, I make all of my mandalas available for people to color. Why should I have all the fun?

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