2017-247: Doodle Mandala: My Issue with Being Fat

This one is personal. I decided that rather than keep trying to lose weight to no avail, how about asking my body, my fat why it wants to stay. With that intention I created this Doodle Mandala.

My progress for today:

[Select an image for a larger view]

The more I painted this one the more I started recognizing some subtle yet powerful anger and resentment issues related to fat, food, and having/being enough. A year and a half ago I had reached my goal weight and maintained it for almost a year. Then it slowly slipped away, with me thinking “oh I’ll get back on track tomorrow and it will be good again.” Well it got way out of hand.

I realized how proud I was to have reached my goal and yet another behind-the-scenes part of me said “that’s not how we roll.” I find that now I’m beating myself up about it. And rather than being proud of myself, I’m disappointed in myself.

Inspired by Sara Roizen’s art, of Art Therapy Spot, I knew I had to put white lines in different patterns over this mandala by about Image #9.

Before adding the white lines, though, I let this painting sit for a couple of hours without knowing what exactly I was going to do with the white. When I sat down to it, I felt like it needed wavy lines. And after a few wavy lines, it needed spirals. It’s almost as if the white lines represented the energy healing of a reiki session.

The whole time adding the white lines, it felt like I was re-writing my story. That I can be proud of myself regardless of my body size. So for now, I’m just going to let that sink in for a bit and allow myself to be okay with myself just the way I am.

Read more about Doodle Mandalas.

About the Mandalas of the Day:

I post a variety of in-progress art for that day which can include mandalas from the Mandala of the Week, the Mandala of the Month, the Mandala of the Year, or the Mandala Meditation Stones.

Happy Coloring!

joyfully, Maureen

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